Bottling it

Summer seems to have arrived, and I'm off to Ascot next week.

These two facts combine to result in one terrifying prospect: I have to get my legs out.
Now, I've never been one for the fake tan - mostly because I'm a very pale red head. Previous ill-advised attempts have left me a Dickensian (daytime telly, not Victorian literature) hue.
And yet I'm back on the bottle once more. Why? Well, because "fakebake" have made fake tan for pale red heads. It is specially made for me, comes with its own pomegranate scrub, latex gloves and cost £22.

What can possibly go wrong? Tune in next time to find out...