Bargain hunt

Bootle was a bleary eyed car boot - we were parked up and unpacking our tat by 7.05am.

And by 7.10am the vultures were circling Portia and me as the old hands took one look and realised we were first timers.

Bizarrely, the dress maker's mannequin was the first to go for a respectable £4, swiftly followed by Portia's Royal Dalton Schnauzer dog statue - I know, how could she - for a massive £5.

The dog turned out to be the day's big money, along with a pair of hockey sticks that we sold for £6 to a silent man who wouldn't look us in the eye.

After that we did a brisk trade in wind chimes (£1, frankly as the wind was starting to pick up I'd have PAID someone to take them away), bean bags, bangles and bobble hats.

Next door the bloke painting signs to order was doing a roaring trade - we particularly liked the charming "Dirty Nellie's Knocking Shop". Classy.

Opposite a pair of dodgy matching mullets were selling knock off perfume, I would have shared the image with you all, but Portia wouldn't let me sneak a pic on the grounds that they'd beat us up. She had a point - both Mr and Mrs Rough were wearing matching black leather jackets.

Then we met Bette and her friend, who bought four rolls of pink wallpaper for 80p:
Friend: "Bette will this pink do me downstairs loo?"
Bette: "Ohhhh, like a marvel."

Not everyone was so appreciative - I sold a sports bag to a bloke and said brightly, "you can put your shopping in that now" - to which he replied, "nah queen, I'm gonna put the rubbish in me car in it."

Despite drawing many admirers, the fetching blue and silver Italian leather wedges failed to find a new owner, along with the ski outfit. With hindsight I should maybe have realised that winter sports equipment wouldn't be a big hit in Bootle.

But then who knew that the Schnauzer would be such a success? Today taught me that there really is no telling what people will buy - or what they'll sell.

Our neighbour on the other side swiftly sold off all his stock, then took £500 in cash for his car and walked off.

We came in a bit short of that - making £75 between us, £40 of which was mine and has now been added to the Great North Run fund for Get Kids Going. That, along with generous donations from two good friends, Alan and Catherine, means I'm halfway to my £200 target.

I'm absolutely knackered now, but actually feeling quite pleased with myself: It's far too much work for £40, but it was fun.

Filling our boots at the big Bootle car boot sale

Typewriter: Check.
Anthology of 101 School Assemblies: Check.
Cocktail kit circa 1970: Check.
Dress maker's mannequin: Check.
VHS videos of Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Ghost Busters: Check.
Crime against fashion neon all-in-one ski outfit: Check.

These are just some of the highlights of tomorrow's Bootle car boot sale.

An old friend and I are joining forces to get rid of our tat as we take on the bargain hunters of the North West, in what claims to be the region's biggest boot sale.

The pitch is setting us back £9, and in the unlikely event that we make a profit the money's going to the charity that I'm doing the Great North Run for next week - Get Kids Going.

It's a great cause which does a really good job helping disabled kids to get the best out of life, so if you can spare a few quid here's the link: http://www.justgiving.com/laurajones20

Having had to face up to the sheer volume of crap I've acquired over the years, I'm now of the opinion minimalism is the way forward.

Frankly, if anyone pays good money for that ski outfit (with matching bobble hat) I will struggle to keep a straight face and will be forced to inform the style police immediately.

I'll blog the grand total raised tomorrow, along with some pics of our exploits.

It's a 6.00am start in the morning - who needs sleep?