2009: The Year of Happiness

...on TV.

That's right folks, if you thought 2009 wasn't already looking bleak, then brace yourselves, because I have it on good authority that TV execs are decreeing only shiny, happy stories make it on to our screens.

A friend who works in programme development was today bemoaning the fact that only cheery TV concepts are being given the time of day because patronising commissioners are of the opinion that the masses can't handle misery - or just the truth - during an economic downturn.

Sound a bit Stasi? Or just like your idea of what the ninth circle of hell might look like?

I dread to think what might pass for uplifting telly in the eyes of a programme commissioner - but I imagine that it could well involve Fern Britton banging on about gastric bands and positive body image.

Could this new mantra provide us with an explanation for the heretofore inexplicable appearance of "Hole in the Wall" and entirely unnecessary revival of "Krypton Factor"?

Isn't this a kind of cultural anaesthetic? I'd be quite happy to opt for vodka instead, thank you very much.

At least the cloud has a silver lining (or should that be the other way around?) - in as much as publishers are now ditching all of those endless moaning first person real-lifers as they go in search of a new Jilly Cooper for the naughties.

Giddy up!